About
Slappy Bruce currently lives in Antarctica with his 89 wives and 359 children. His first book is called My Life Among the Penguins, an extremely sensitive tale of democracy gone mad. Slappy is best known from his career as an NFL place kicker. Slappy is Paraguayan and has long been obsessed with the Houston, Texas “chopped and screwed” style of hip-hop. Slappy proudly holds the University of Iowa record for most on-campus parking citations ever written to a scholarship athlete. Slappy earned his Bachelor of Science degree in Bovine Scatology from the South Hampton Institute of Technology but the actual year of his graduation is a topic of dispute among his own family.
