Slappy Bruce

T: Did you crap on my lawn this weekend?

B: Uh, no. Wasn’t me. But there were a few hours when Bailey was unaccounted for. Are you sure it wasn’t you?

T: Hmm. Good question. It could have been me now that I think of it. My neighbors were looking at me funny.

B: My neighbors always look at me funny when I’m walking with you.

B: Wait, is this off the record?

T: Does that mean everything we have discussed so far is ON the record?

B: Well, I always assumed…

T: Are you sure you didn’t crap on my lawn?

Do you think when Jesus pooped other people noticed and said, “Holy Crap.”

T: Have you seen Balls of Fury?

B: No, I’m sheltered.

T: Well it’s really dumb. But i can’t stop watching it.

B: Yeah, I feel that way about the news.

T: It seems like the really crappy movies are the ones I find myself watching.

B: Why do you think that is?

T: I like crap.