T: One day, the whole day you should refer to yourself in the third person.
B: Why not for the next three years?
T: But your name will be Steve. So the whole day you will be like, ”Steve says this. Steve says that.” And people will say, “Who is Steve.” And you will answer, “Steve is I.”
B: That will be absurdly satisfying.
B: I figured out who that girl was who requested my friendship on Facebook.
T: Stalker?
B: No, just a girl who lived on my street, went to my elementary, jr. high and high school. And I couldn’t remember who she was. It’s because her last name was different. and she became a woman.
T: You mean she used to be called Steve?
B: No, I meant, she was a girl before.
T: Oh I thought you meant she used to be called Steve.
B: Come to think of it, I don’t know anyone who has had a sex change operation. Do you? Oh, wait, I guess Eric S. did. But then he changed back so I don’t really count that one.
T: Yeah, I made my butt into a penis for a while but I grew tired of it.
B: That must have made sitting really uncomfortable.
T: Or was it?
B: Did that mean you had two penisesses? Or is it Peni?
T: The technical term would be flacidactali.
B: Is that the technical term for when someone changes their butt into a penis or the technical term for more than one penis?
T: More than one penis.
B: Oh.
T: The procedure is called “addadictame.” Also spelled “addadicktome” if you are in Germany.